Tueswahey

So I think we have established that I blog for my benefit and not any greater good. I have had 67 days of not caring less about this online expression of self and now, just because I feel Convicted, all 6 people who Follow me will be told "Ooh, ooh, ooh, Fran has written something!!"..or similar. Like Colin Firth's character in Love Actually. Sod everyone else whilst he's off falling in love with some Spanish chica and jumping in lakes and stuff but then December rolls around and he feels some tug of obligation to go and do the family thing. Yet he turns up at token imposing central London home on leafy street, has a quick once over the faces of his long lost nieces and nephews and realises he actually quite prefers the Spanish chica. So off he sods again. Bad Uncle Jamie, bad Uncle Jamie. You can see how that's like my relationship with The Universal, yes? No? Hmm, moving on....

I love Tuesday. Wednesday morning to Monday tea time is generally filled with Having To Be In Other Places Decided By Other People. And largely this is a wonderful thing. On the whole I love getting to be a teacher, I heart my church and everything I get to be a part of there, in all the gaps between these things I get to hang out with brilliant people...these are all great and wonderful. But sometimes, just occassionally, it's really great to. Stop.

Maybe what makes Tuesday all the more satisfying is that it is predated by Monday night. A little tradition has started in Parklife which has gained the name Monday Night Review. Monday Night Review is probably our best opportunity of the week to catch up on news and activities, discuss the issues of today, put the world to rights, patch up any wrongs, do an online shop and watch Glee. It's a great thing to do when you live with busy people. The other day Jo and I calculated that we had seen each other for approximately 45 minutes in 4 days. Monday is important to remedy that.

But what this means is that Tuesday gives me the space, I have been thinking, to unfurl. To steal back some time and to make a head start on the week's achievement whilst being able to unpack my head and see if I can fit it back together in a smaller space. When trying to work out if I was an introvert or extrovert the other day, Nathan asked the question (which Esther takes credit for), of whether I get my energy from other people or being alone. I still haven't worked it out. I thrive on busyness but am sustained by stillness. I don't imagine that to be of interest to any other human, but, you know, we have already established that this if this blog was a high street store it's more Primark than Oxfam.

Anyway.

These are the things I think are important right now:

* Toasties. Today's was cheese, tuna and mango chutney. It could have gone either way but it ended up being a WINNER. If anyone did ever read this post and has any other suggestions they are always very gratefully received.

* You should probably try and name Nathan's bicycle whilst the window of opportunity is open to the fresh breeze of creative inspiration.

* The size of our footprints. Like, not the carbon ones (although, you know, important). This is something I have been considering whilst washing up (cough*Esther,Ireallydid*cough). So...I am training to be a teacher. Most days I don't feel very good at this. But I plan and I action and I have reams and reams of paper detailing exactly how I am trying to impart a passion for well placed commas. Yet time and again the 150 minutes is up and I am not sure whether there has been any osmosis whatsoever. In these moments I can feel not so much weightless as faceless. I can believe, for a few seconds I am having zero influance on the world around me. Yet...In other situations I can be completely oblivious as to where my feet are treading and whether or not the people beneath them actually want my brown suede Schuh own brand boots all over them. I can assume I am an island despite the fact that every single lecturer who has ever marked one of my essays will know, no man is. And equally vice versa. Like every potentailly mental person I have a mentor who I meet up with periodically to check in with and she has been a huge source of encouragement and wisdom. Yet in a recent conversation she said she wouldn't consider herself a leader at all and was completely surprised by my appreciation of her. Being a Bible believer I am fully signed up to the potter and clay image of how God shapes us, but I am increasingly aware of his use of third parties in this process. Maybe right now I am simply grateful for the fingerprints and footprints at work in shaping me and want to make sure I am striving for similar good.

* It's almost not winter.

This was good for me. I am little bit too embarrassed, however, to ask you the same :)

Catch up soon. x